Teaching In Socks


What Hitchcock Missed
June 15, 2009, 5:05 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

News Bulletin:

I’m not sure to what degree this was discussed in American media outlets, but this week in Ishikawa prefecture it rained tadpoles and small carp. It happened on two separate occasions in different towns. No severe weather was reported in either occasion.

While this sort of news has been a nice break from the recent deluge of missiles madness and pandemics pandemonium, I’m not sure it’s less concerning. Amphibious animals are falling from the sky: if this isn’t some divine omen signifying plague and pestilence  ominous events to come, then at the very least it’s a notable an indicator that we are doing something terribly wrong to the environment (We are totally doing something terrible to the environment).

While experts have not been able to produce any concrete explanations  for the phenomenon, the current leading theory (rather predictably) blames birds. One duck observatory both proffers the theory that it could be birds dropping the amphibious specimens from their air while bringing them back to their young- they also dispute the theory based on the digestive rates of birds and the pristine states of the precipitants.  This little nuance enlightened me to the fact that I am glad that I am not a scientist who studies bird digestive rates.

Regardless of the real forces behind the tadpole rain (I blame Science), I think the initial accusations of feathered interference (and the possibility that it’s true) offers an important social statement of it’s own.  Clearly one of two things happened here:

1. The birds are angry about my rubber snake triumph (and subsequent boasting) and are taking it back by collectively ralphing water creatures across the country, one small town at a time

OR

2. Japan has been inspired by my recent battle “nest v. rubber snake” and are enacting an elaborate “Sinking of the Maine” routine to begin a false, but publicly justified crusade against these feathered Dinoterrorist. They will hunt them mercilessly, and with generations of repressed rage from spite-filled emergency car-washes. Presumably when the extermination is finished, the citizens will populate the sky with flying robots and a few Herons kept around for posterity.

Like I said, I blame science.

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